


escape it all

by jetplane



Series: Quarantink [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Addiction, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, One Shot, Past Drug Use, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23934637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetplane/pseuds/jetplane
Summary: During a difficult case, Reid starts taking Dilaudid again. When he makes a nearly fatal mistake, his family is there to support him and remind him that he's not alone.
Relationships: Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia & Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia & Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team
Series: Quarantink [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687318
Comments: 8
Kudos: 160





	escape it all

**Author's Note:**

> The Reid/Morgan relationship was originally intended to be platonic, but it can definitely be read through a romantic lens
> 
> content warning for drug use (as tagged) and a little bit of swearing
> 
> you've got a second chance  
> you could go home  
> escape it all  
> it's just irrelevant  
> \- “Medicine” by Daughter

It had been a tough case. Cases involving children were always bad, but this one was particularly awful. The unsub had targeted local kids. They’d taken him down, but not soon enough to save any of his victims.

Reid rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, trying to get the images of the bodies out of his mind. All he wanted to do was forget. He wished he could be anyone else, anywhere else, just for a moment.

He thought about the glass vial sitting at the bottom of his bag. He hadn’t really meant to buy it. It had just kind of...happened. The case had ended and he’d wanted something, anything, to make him forget. Reid knew he should throw out the rest of it, but something stopped him. He wasn’t ready quite yet.

Besides, there was nothing wrong with having the drugs. Sure, it was illegal and he was an FBI agent, but it wasn’t like anyone needed to know about it. Only a few people even were aware of his history with opioids, and they trusted him. As long as it didn’t interfere with his work, there was no danger. Right?

“Hey, pretty boy,” a voice said, interrupting his train of thought. “Garcia and I are going out. You look like you could use a distraction.”

It was like the profiler had read his mind. Reid hated clubbing, but the headache of loud music and flashing lights couldn’t possibly be worse than the pain of sitting in the quiet bullpen, reliving the past few hours over and over again.

“Sure,” he replied. “I’d love to come.”

-

The club was crowded - something else Spencer never would have enjoyed on a normal day. But in his Dilaudid-induced haze, he found the people around him almost comforting. They weren’t so different from him, Reid thought. The patrons used alcohol instead of opioids, but the effects were no different. All they wanted to do was to feel good for a while, to become a little happier and bolder with other people doing the same thing.

Speaking of which, it seemed that it was his turn to order. The bartender, Garcia, and Morgan were all giving him an expectant look.

“You know what you want?” the young woman asked from behind the bar. She seemed slightly irritated by the delay.

“I’ll, uh…” He racked his mind for the name of a drink and came up empty. He cleared his throat, stalling for time, then pointed to Morgan. “I’ll have what he’s having.”

Garcia raised her eyebrows. “Wow,” she commented. “Who are you, and what have you done with our Spencer Reid?”

Reid wondered what he’d just committed himself to drinking. But he reminded himself to act casual, and the drugs made that easy. “If it’s good enough for Morgan, it’s good enough for me.”

Derek grinned. “Wise words from a wise man.”

Penelope shot Morgan a look, then glanced at Reid. “You don’t have to keep up with him,” she warned. “He does this all the time.”

Morgan swatted her arm playfully. “What are you saying, baby girl?” he asked. “I like to have a good time. That’s not so wrong, is it?”

“Yeah,” Reid said. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

She shrugged. They all dropped the subject as the bartender returned with their drinks - something brightly colored and sweet-smelling for Garcia, and a mysterious liquor for Morgan and Reid.

Morgan raised his glass to the others. “Cheers.” He and Garcia both drank, and after a moment, Reid worked up the courage to join them.

He immediately had to fight the urge to gag. Whatever Morgan had ordered, it tasted terrible and felt even worse going down.

Derek noticed his expression and smirked. “Too much, pretty boy?”

Something in his tone felt like a challenge to Reid. “I can handle it,” he replied. Filled with a new bravado, he raised the glass to his lips and took a gulp. Then he took another. With each drink, it grew a little easier to force the liquid down. When his glass was empty, Spencer waved down the bartender. “I’ll have another one of these,” he told her.

“Whoa,” Garcia said. Her tone sounded more worried than impressed. “Reid, maybe you-”

“Should come out with us more often!” Derek raised his empty glass to Reid’s. “Seriously, man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink like that before.”

Reid shrugged, waiting for the alcohol to hit. “There are a lot of things you haven’t seen me do,” he replied.

“True,” Morgan replied. He seemed to already be feeling the effects of his drink, if that was even possible. “Anyways, I’m going to go…” He gestured towards the dance floor. “I think the ladies are calling me.”

Garcia rolled her eyes as Morgan sauntered up to a group of women. She looked back to Reid, who had received his second drink and was imbibing it just as quickly as the first.

“Hey,” she said, concerned. “Everything alright?”

He waved her away dismissively. “Everything’s great,” he replied. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“It’s just that you usually don’t drink much, and I’m worried that if you take in too much, too quickly, it could make you sick,” Penelope explained, looking over her friend’s face.

Spencer shook his head lazily as the effects of the alcohol started to kick in. “I’m fine, Garcia,” he said. “I can take care of myself. I have a PhD in chemistry.”

She sighed. “All right then.”

-

Two hours and an unknown number of drinks later, Garcia began to realize that Reid really was in over his head. He’d started slurring his speech, and now looked dangerously close to falling off his barstool. She decided to find Morgan.

Derek was more than slightly irritated to be interrupted in his conversation with a pretty redhead, but he quickly excused himself when he saw the worry on Penelope’s face. “It’s Reid,” she explained, half-shouting over the music. “I think we need to get him home.”

He followed her through the crowd to Spencer, who was now resting his head on the bar. “Hey, kid,” he said, tapping him on the shoulder. “Pretty boy, are you alright?” He gave the man a gentle shake.

Reid raised his head and looked to Derek in confusion. “What? Yeah, I’m good,” he said after a moment, his words barely coherent. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Morgan sized him up and quickly concluded that Penelope had been right to be concerned. “Come on, Reid,” he said. “Let’s get you home.”

“Okay,” Reid said. Then he paused and looked at Morgan, his eyes unfocused. “I don’t know...if I can walk.”

“I’ll help you.”

Morgan half-carried Spencer into the waiting taxi. He gave the driver his address, then helped buckle Reid’s seat belt. “I think you should stay with me tonight,” he said. He turned to Garcia. “You’re welcome to stay, as well.”

She shook her head. “I should head back to my place.”

Derek nodded. “Call me when you get home so I know you got there safely.” Reid’s head lolled onto Morgan’s shoulder.

“Will do,” Penelope replied.

-

They stopped in front of Derek’s apartment building. He paid the driver and then got himself and Spencer out of the car. The taxi drove away to Garcia’s apartment.

“Alright, pretty boy,” Morgan said with a sigh. “Let’s get you inside.”

He helped Reid into the apartment and locked the door behind them, then settled the young agent down on his couch. “I’ll get you some water,” he said. “You’re going to feel this tomorrow.”

Spencer collapsed onto the sofa as Morgan disappeared in the kitchen. He returned with a tall glass of water in his hand. “Drink this,” he ordered. Spencer did as he was told.

“Good,” Derek praised him when he was done. “Are you good here?” Reid’s head bobbed up and down. “Okay. I’m going to take Clooney out for a walk.”

Morgan retrieved his dog and his leash. As he passed by Reid on the way out, he shut off the lights. “Be back in a little bit,” he promised. Spencer shifted his position on the couch but said nothing.

The night air was chilly, and Derek shivered slightly, but Clooney didn’t seem to mind. He seemed determined to sniff every rock and leaf and patch of dirt along the path. Still, after they’d gone a few blocks, Derek decided to call it. “Come on, boy,” he said. “Let’s go home.”

They turned around and returned back the way they’d come. When they got back to his apartment, Derek inserted his key as quietly as possible. He pushed open the door gently, not wanting to disturb Spencer’s rest.

Clooney, on the other hand, seemed to have other ideas. He darted off into the living room. “Clooney!” Derek called out in a firm whisper. “Don’t wake him up!”

In response, the dog whined and jumped up onto the couch. It was too dark for Derek to see, but the sound of paws launching off the ground was unmistakable. “Clooney, down,” Morgan ordered quietly. In response, the canine only whimpered again.

Derek sighed and flipped on a lamp. “Clooney,” he repeated. “Down.”

Clooney pushed his snout under Reid’s arm, giving Derek a pointed look. He shook his head to himself. “Clooney, he’s sleeping. Which is what you and I should be doing right now.”

The dog whined some more and nosed at Spencer’s arm a little more deliberately. Reid didn’t stir. It was only then that Morgan noticed. He couldn’t see Reid’s chest rise or fall at all.

“Reid?” He rushed towards Spencer and knelt by his side. He shook his shoulder violently. “Reid! Reid, wake up!”

Nothing. Frantically, Derek pulled out his cell phone and dialed, terror filling his veins. “911, what’s your emergency?”

“My friend - I don’t think he’s breathing,” Morgan blurted out. “I need an ambulance.”

“Okay, sir, can you tell me your location?” the dispatcher asked. He gave her the address and apartment number. Then, he noticed Reid’s chest rise slightly.

“Wait! He’s breathing now, I can see it!” Relief flooded his body. “That’s good, right?”

“That’s certainly a good sign,” the person on the other end replied, although the dispatcher’s voice remained objective. “Help is on the way, sir.”

It felt like an eternity later when EMTs knocked on Morgan’s door. He opened it immediately. “He’s in here.” Morgan led them to the living room, where Clooney still sat protectively near Reid.

“What’s your friend’s name, sir?” one of the medics asked.

“Spencer,” Morgan replied, watching anxiously as the other EMT started to check Reid’s vital signs. “His name is Spencer Reid.”

“Okay.” The EMT wrote something down. “Do you know if Spencer had any alcohol or drugs tonight?”

“We went to a club,” Derek said. “He had a few drinks.”

More notes. “How many is ‘a few’?”

“I don’t know,” Morgan admitted, voice rising slightly. “I wasn’t with him the whole night. I don’t know how many drinks he had.”

The medic nodded. “Any other drugs?”

He shook his head vigorously. “He doesn’t do drugs. But - but, um, he’s allergic to antibiotics. Penicillin-type. You - you can’t give him any of those.”

Just then, the other EMT returned and whispered something to his partner. The one in charge of questioning Morgan turned to look at him again with a new expression. “Are you absolutely sure he didn’t take anything? We don’t have to report anything to the police, but we do need to know if he’s on any drugs so that we can properly treat him.”

“No, he didn’t take any drugs,” Morgan insisted firmly. “What is this about?”

The EMT looked at Reid’s unconscious body. There was an oxygen mask on his face, and one of his sleeves had been rolled up to put a blood pressure cuff on his upper arm. But in the crook of his elbow were…

“No,” Morgan breathed. “No.”

How could he have been so oblivious? Reid had been sneaking off all throughout the last case. He’d been unfocused and coming late to work several days in a row. Morgan had teased him for nodding off at his desk. All the signs were there. And yet the profiler hadn’t been able to see it.

“He...he’s an addict,” he choked out. “I think he started using again. If he took something, it’s probably Dilaudid.”

The EMT nodded. “Thank you.” He looked to his partner, then back at Derek. “Sir, we’re going to transport Spencer to the hospital now. Do you want to ride with us in the ambulance, or would you prefer to meet us there?”

“I’m going with you,” Morgan declared. “I’m not leaving him.”

-

At the hospital, doctors had rushed Reid off. Someone had ushered Morgan to the waiting room, where he paced now with his cell phone in hand.

“Come on,” he muttered. “Pick up, pick up, pick up.”

On the third ring, he picked up. “Hello?” Hotch asked, slightly groggily.

“Hotch, I’m at the hospital. Something bad happened and I think you and the rest of the team need to get down here right now because-”

Aaron cut off his frantic rambling. “Morgan, slow down. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Derek replied quickly. “It’s Reid. We - we went out and I lost track of him for a while and I think he drank a lot but then when I found him he was just lying there and he was barely breathing. I called 911 and they took him and I don’t know if he’s going to be okay.”

“Do you know what happened?” Hotch asked, trying to stay calm as he heard the fear rise in his agent’s voice. “Was he able to describe the person who attacked him?”

Morgan’s breath hitched. Hotch thought that someone had hurt Reid. “No, Hotch, he wasn’t assaulted. I think - I think he overdosed.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Then, a shuffling noise. “Alright, I’m going to call the rest of the team and we’ll meet you at the hospital. If anything changes or if you get any information on his condition, let me know immediately.”

“Okay.” Shakily, he pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up.

-

JJ was the first to arrive at the hospital. She spotted Morgan and nearly ran across the waiting room, wrapping her arms around her coworker. She’d clearly been crying. “Have you heard anything from the doctors?” JJ asked.

Derek shook his head. “They - they rushed him away as soon as we got here. I wanted to stay with them but they wouldn’t let me. I didn’t know what to do, so I - I called Hotch.”

JJ pushed blond hair out of her face and looked around helplessly. “He’s going to be okay,” she whispered to herself. “He has to be.”

Rossi appeared just seconds later. “What happened?” he asked the others. “Where’s Reid?”

“He’s still with the doctors,” Morgan reported a shaky voice. “I haven’t seen him since we came in.”

Dave looked over Morgan. “You were with him?” He nodded. “You should get checked out too; if someone managed to dose Reid they could have-”

“Rossi, stop,” JJ blurted out. “No one poisoned Spencer.”

His brow knitted in confusion. “I thought Hotch said he was drugged.”

She shook her head. “He wasn’t drugged,” she whispered, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “He had a relapse.”

This only confused Rossi further. “A relapse?” he asked.

“He’s an addict,” Morgan said quietly.

Dave blinked a few times, processing this. “I didn’t know that,” he said after a moment.

“It happened before you came back to the BAU,” Morgan told him. He gestured to a group of empty chairs in the corner of the waiting room. “We should sit down.”

The three agents sat together. As they gathered in the corner, Morgan realized he didn’t know where to start. He decided to tell Rossi what had happened, from the beginning. “Do you know the case with Tobias Hankel?” Derek asked.

Rossi frowned thoughtfully. “The case in Georgia? Where the unsub had multiple personalities, and he posted videos of his killings on the Internet?”

JJ nodded. “Do you know anything else about what happened on that case?”

“I heard that an agent was kidnapped by the unsub. And that the agent shot and killed the unsub before he was found.” Rossi looked up as he began to put the pieces together. “Was Reid that agent?”

Morgan nodded. “Hankel had him for two days. He beat him, made him choose people to live and die, and even forced him to dig his own grave. And he sent us videos of most of it.”

Rossi shook his head as he imagined what Reid must have gone through. “That’s awful. I never knew.”

JJ wiped a tear from her eyes and continued the story. “Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid. He kept injecting Reid with it. At one point, it stopped his breathing. He managed to revive him, but…” She took a shaky breath. “It was terrifying.”

“And that’s how his addiction started?” Dave asked gently.

Morgan nodded. “He had a hard time after coming back from the case, but then he got clean. I know he’s struggled, but I don’t think he’s used since.” He paused for a moment. “Until recently, I guess.”

Dave’s gaze grew distant as he thought about Reid’s behavior. He had been acting strangely over the past few days. The boy genius had been slower than usual, less talkative, and frequently unfocused. Rossi had just figured he was tired, maybe a little preoccupied with one of those college degrees he always seemed to be pursuing. “I noticed some changes in his behavior. I didn’t think anything of it.”

“None of us did,” JJ replied. “We all thought he was fine.” She wrapped her arms around herself tightly.

“I’m going to go see if there’s any update on Reid,” Morgan said. He’d gotten up from his chair to pace once again, desperate for something to keep himself busy. He hurried off just as Hotch arrived.

“Is there any update?” Aaron asked.

“Morgan just went to find out,” JJ told him, wringing her hands anxiously.

The supervisor looked at his agents. “Are you two alright?”

Rossi nodded. After a moment, JJ nodded as well.

“Good,” Hotch said, his expression stoic. “I called Prentiss and Garcia as well, and they’re both on their way. The best thing we can do right now is to stay calm and trust that the doctors are taking good care of Reid.”

JJ shook her head. “I should have noticed,” she muttered to herself. “Maybe if I’d talked to him, or if one of us had stayed with-”

“JJ,” Hotch interrupted firmly. “This is not your fault. Reid is sick. We’re going to get him help. That’s all that matters.”

She nodded weakly. “I just…” JJ trailed off.

“It’s all going to be okay,” Rossi added, his gaze compassionate. “Reid is strong. He’s going to be okay.”

-

The sky was turning light when a doctor finally emerged to speak to the BAU team. “Are you here for Spencer Reid?”

“We are,” Hotch replied. “Do you have an update on his condition?”

The woman nodded. “Dr. Reid is stable.” The team breathed a collective sigh of relief. “He’ll need to stay for a day or two for observation, but we expect to be able to release him after that.”

Morgan worked up the courage to ask the question they all needed to be answered. “Was he high?”

She nodded again. “His tests came back positive for large amounts of alcohol as well as hydromorphone, also known as Dilaudid or Exalgo. I understand he’d been at a bar?”

“We went to the club,” Derek told her. “We had some drinks, then when we left I took him back to my place. I figured he was too drunk to stay home alone.”

The doctor looked at Morgan. “You saved his life. The drugs depressed his breathing to a dangerous extent. If he’d gone home alone, or even if you’d waited to call 911, he could have suffered permanent brain damage and or even died. He’s a lucky man.”

For some reason, Derek didn’t feel any better hearing this. “Do you know when he might have taken the drugs?”

“Morgan,” Garcia said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Does it really matter?”

He pushed her arm away. Garcia flinched, but didn’t try to comfort the man again. “I want to know. We were with him almost all night. Was he high at work, or did he sneak off at the club?”

“He didn’t take anything at the club,” Penelope said in a small voice. “I was with him all night.”

“So he shot up at work, then?” Morgan shook his head. “I can’t believe it. How did none of us notice?”

The doctor looked at the agents, then cautiously opened her mouth. “Based on his symptoms and the amount of hydromorphone in his system at the time of his admission, it’s unlikely that he injected the drug more than a half an hour before he arrived at the hospital.”

Morgan’s jaw dropped. He stared at the woman in disbelief for a moment. “You’re saying that he shot up at my place?” He shook his head and turned away from the others. “He got high on my fucking couch?”

“Derek,” JJ said softly, reaching out to comfort the agent. He tried to struggle away, but she managed to stop him from putting his fist the wall behind them. After a moment, the profiler stopped fighting and JJ released him.

“I can’t believe this,” Derek muttered. “I can’t believe him. I went to take Clooney for a walk, for God’s sake! And he just-”

“Derek,” Hotch said. “He’s sick. He needs help.”

“I know. I know.” Morgan slumped against the wall and threw his head back for a moment. Then he lifted it to look at Reid’s doctor. “Is he awake? Can we see him?”

She gave a small nod. “He can have visitors. But only one at a time.”

Everyone looked to Derek. “I think you should see him first,” Hotch said.

Morgan followed her to Spencer’s room. She paused outside the door and motioned for Morgan to step in. The agent hesitated as he peered through the doorway. Spencer lay in the hospital bed, eyes closed, with a nasal cannula draped over his face and a pulse oximeter clipped to his finger. The monitor above his head showed a steady set of vitals. It was a stark contrast from when Morgan had last seen him just a few hours before, barely hanging onto life as doctors hurried him away.

The sound drew Reid’s attention. He turned his head towards the door, making eye contact with Morgan. Derek let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Hey kid,” Morgan said softly. Reid looked away as Derek approached his bedside. “How are you feeling?”

He just shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

Morgan glanced away for a second, then looked back at Reid. “You really scared me, Reid.”

Spencer kept his eyes downcast. “I’m sorry,” he replied in a quiet voice. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” Derek sighed as he pulled up a chair and took a seat next to the bed. “Kid, we’re all here for you. We’ll get through this together.”

The younger agent’s gaze flickered towards Derek, then back down. In that moment, Derek couldn’t help but notice how fragile his best friend looked. “You don’t have to do that. This is my fault. I can do it - get clean - by myself.”

For some reason, his words release all the pent-up stress and frustration inside Morgan. “Kid, you weren’t breathing when I found you on my couch. We spent the whole night here, at the hospital, blaming ourselves for not realizing you were struggling. We thought we were going to lose you, Reid,” Morgan stood up, shaking his head in frustration. “This isn’t your fault, and it isn’t your problem alone. _You are not alone_ , Reid.”

Derek reached over and took Reid’s hand in his own. “You hear me, pretty boy? There’s no way in hell we’re letting you go through this alone.” Reid hesitantly met his eyes again and gave a tiny nod. “And if you don’t believe us, we’ll remind you every step of the way.”

Spencer smiled weakly behind watery eyes. “Thanks,” he whispered. His voice was quiet, but Morgan could tell that he meant it.

Morgan returned the smile. “Of course,” he uttered gently. He squeezed Reid’s hand gently. “I love you, Reid.”

Reid squeezed his hand in response. “I love you too, Morgan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave any feedback in the comments, and let me know if there's anything you want to see in my future CM fics!
> 
> you could still be  
> what you want to  
> what you said you were  
> when I met you  
> you've got a warm heart  
> you've got a beautiful brain  
> but it's disintegrating  
> from all the medicine  
> \- “Medicine” by Daughter


End file.
